Table of Contents
Stop trying to memorize perfect scripts and overthinking your presentations—the fastest path to speaking confidence comes through deliberate practice games that build subconscious flow states.
Most public speaking training focuses on symptom management rather than root causes, teaching people to control filler words instead of building genuine comfort with spontaneous communication.
Key Takeaways
- Public speaking is a meta skill that transforms every area of life by unlocking natural communication abilities—the better you speak, the more confident you feel in work, relationships, and personal interactions
- Use enjoyment as your barometer for effective speaking—if you're not having fun, you're probably overthinking and fighting against your natural conversational abilities
- Practice three core techniques: look up when thinking (appears thoughtful), end strong without hedging (avoid undermining yourself), and stay in character (don't leak insecurities to your audience)
- Build skills through short-burst practice games rather than traditional presentations—conductor (emotional range), triple step (focus amid distractions), and conviction prompts (executive presence)
- The Accordion Method revolutionizes talk preparation by compressing ideas from 3 minutes down to 30 seconds, then expanding back up to internalize rather than memorize content
- Apply the Bow and Arrow Technique by focusing on what you want audiences to remember (one key takeaway) rather than everything you want to say
Timeline Overview
- 00:00–08:56 — Meta Skills and Misconceptions: Tristan explains why public speaking is a transformative meta skill like fitness, and how enjoyment serves as a barometer for effective communication versus overthinking
- 08:56–29:15 — Core Principles and Tactics: Discussion of flow states versus conscious control, plus three immediate improvements—think up (look confident), end strong (avoid hedging), stay in character (don't leak insecurities)
- 29:15–45:54 — Game-Based Learning Philosophy: Why practice through speaking games rather than traditional presentations, creating turbulence in low-stakes environments to build resilience and skill range
- 45:54–01:07:51 — Live Practice Games: Conductor game (accessing different energy levels), Triple Step (integrating random words while maintaining focus), demonstrating how games build specific communication skills
- 01:07:51–01:17:27 — Advanced Game Applications: Conviction Prompts for executive presence, discussion of not leaking confidence issues, and the importance of staying in character even when things go wrong
- 01:17:27–01:44:55 — Preparation Methods: The Accordion Method for internalizing talks without memorization, Bow and Arrow Technique for memorable presentations, plus Tristan's World Championship journey story
Why Public Speaking is a Meta Skill That Changes Everything
Most people underestimate how transformative developing speaking skills can be because they think of it as a specialized ability rather than a meta skill that affects every area of life. Just like fitness improves not only your physical strength but also your energy, confidence, and overall well-being, speaking skills create ripple effects throughout your personal and professional relationships.
When you make breakthroughs in speaking, you suddenly feel different at work, with friends, in groups of strangers, and even with family. This happens because speaking taps into fundamental human capabilities—we're evolutionarily designed to communicate. Babies learn to speak without formal instruction, which means we all have incredible "hardware" for communication.
The problem isn't lacking ability; it's that we've accumulated "bugs in our software" over time. Various experiences have created layers of self-consciousness, overthinking, and anxiety that constrain our natural communication abilities. We stop upgrading our speaking software and get stuck with old, buggy versions that make us avoid the very practice we need.
The solution involves debugging and upgrading rather than learning entirely new skills. When you remove the obstacles and build on your existing foundation, your entire life can change because communication affects everything you do.
Using Enjoyment as Your Barometer for Effective Speaking
One of the most powerful insights for improving your speaking is treating enjoyment as a diagnostic tool. If you're not enjoying the process of speaking, you're probably doing something that works against your natural abilities rather than enhancing them.
Think about environments where you feel completely comfortable speaking—with close friends, family members, or childhood friends. In these settings, communication feels effortless and enjoyable because it's simply a means to connect and share thoughts. You're not monitoring every word or trying to control your performance.
The same person with identical skills can feel completely different in a business setting, where pressure creates the urge to "try to speak differently." This leads to overthinking, attempting to control words before they come out, and essentially fighting against the natural, subconscious process of communication.
When enjoyment disappears, it signals that you've probably shifted from natural flow into conscious control mode. The goal is learning to maintain that comfortable, conversational feeling even in higher-stakes environments.
This principle also applies to practice. If your speaking practice feels like drudgery, you'll quit within weeks just like an unenjoyable fitness routine. Effective practice needs intrinsic rewards and needs to feel energizing rather than draining.
Three Immediate Tactical Improvements
Look Up When Thinking Most people look down when gathering their thoughts, which appears uncertain and invites interruption. This habit is three times worse on video calls because it looks like you're checking your phone or notes. Instead, train yourself to think while looking up and to the right (or any upward direction).
Looking up while thinking automatically makes you appear thoughtful and confident. Anyone willing to pause and think while maintaining eye contact level demonstrates self-assurance. You're also much less likely to get interrupted.
Write "Think Up" on a sticky note and place it on your computer. The first few times will feel awkward, but this quickly becomes natural and significantly improves how others perceive your confidence.
End Strong Without Hedging Most people sabotage themselves at the end of statements by adding doubts or disclaimers: "I don't know if that makes sense" or "Maybe I'm wrong about this." This forces audiences to reinterpret everything you just said through a lens of uncertainty.
The brain naturally starts regaining consciousness and self-awareness as you approach the end of any speaking turn. Anticipate this pattern and make sure you "land the plane" instead of trailing off or undermining yourself.
Use summary prompts to help your brain wrap up strongly: "So to wrap up..." "In summary..." "My point here is..." These phrases prompt your subconscious to provide a clean ending without conscious effort.
Stay in Character Throughout People can't actually see your internal insecurities unless you leak them through self-sabotaging comments. When something feels wrong internally—a word comes out weird, you lose your train of thought, or you feel like you're rambling—resist the urge to acknowledge it explicitly.
Breaking character by saying "Sorry, I'm not making sense" or laughing nervously draws attention to problems your audience probably didn't notice. It's like a pilot announcing every minor technical issue—you create anxiety where none existed.
Instead, maintain your confident persona from beginning to end. Stay in character even when you feel internally shaky. Most audiences will perceive you as confident because that's what you're projecting, creating a reinforcing cycle that actually builds genuine confidence over time.
Why Games Beat Traditional Practice Methods
Traditional speaking advice tells you to "practice more" but doesn't provide effective practice methods. You can't learn to speak by reading articles or watching videos—you need to actually speak. But most available practice options are either too broad (giving full presentations) or too scripted (memorizing choreographed content).
Games solve this problem by creating short, deliberate practice sessions with immediate feedback loops. Each game targets specific root causes of speaking challenges rather than surface symptoms.
The games share several key characteristics: they're enjoyable (so you'll actually do them), they create controlled turbulence (pushing you outside comfort zones), and they force you to rely on your natural speaking abilities rather than prepared content.
The Conductor Game: Accessing Your Full Emotional Range This game flashes numbers from 1-10 that represent different energy levels you must match while speaking impromptu on a random topic. A "5" represents your natural speaking pace, while higher numbers demand more intensity and lower numbers require calmer, more introspective energy.
The exercise reveals whether you're comfortable with high energy (easy to access excitement and conviction) or low energy (willing to slow down and take up space while thinking). Most people discover they default to a narrow band and struggle with extremes.
When you practice accessing different energy levels on command, you learn that different emotional states unlock different insights, stories, and ways of expressing ideas. A "1" energy level might access contemplative thoughts while a "9" brings out passionate convictions you didn't know you had.
Triple Step: Building Focus Amid Distraction This game requires integrating random words seamlessly into an impromptu speech as if they were always part of your planned content. The goal isn't just integration but maintaining your core message direction regardless of unexpected inputs.
The skill builds resilience for real-world speaking where people yawn, phones buzz, questions arise, or your mind goes blank. Instead of getting derailed by distractions, you learn to incorporate them while staying focused on your main point.
Conviction Prompts: Developing Executive Presence This game provides sentence starters designed to increase your conviction and investment in what you're saying: "I genuinely believe..." "This is a game changer..." "It astonishes me when..."
Executive presence often comes down to speaking as though you truly believe in your ideas. Most people hedge and qualify their statements so much that audiences assume the ideas don't matter. These prompts force you to take stronger stands, which naturally makes your content more compelling.
The Accordion Method: Revolutionary Talk Preparation
Traditional preparation involves writing ideas on paper, rearranging them into a script, then memorizing the script. This creates brittle, robotic presentations that fall apart when anything goes wrong.
The Accordion Method prepares talks entirely through speaking rather than writing. You start with a 3-minute version of your talk, then compress it down to 2 minutes, 1 minute, and finally 30 seconds. This forces you to identify and keep only the essential elements.
At 30 seconds, you've isolated the core of your message—like removing everything from a living room except the most essential furniture. This creates clarity about what your talk is actually about (which often evolves during the compression process).
Then you expand back up: 30 seconds to 1 minute to 2 minutes to 3 minutes. Each expansion gives you intentional space to add supporting elements that enhance rather than clutter your core message.
By the end of this process, your talk is internalized rather than memorized. You know your key pillars and can navigate different time constraints fluidly. If something goes wrong, you can recover because you understand the underlying structure rather than relying on a memorized script.
The method is plastic—you can give the same talk in 1 minute, 3 minutes, or 10 minutes because you understand how to compress or expand around your core message.
The Bow and Arrow Technique: Making Talks Memorable
Most speakers focus on what they want to say rather than what they want audiences to remember. This leads to information overload where listeners retain almost nothing.
The Bow and Arrow Technique starts with identifying your "arrow"—the single sentence you'd be satisfied with if it were the only thing your audience remembered. This forces crystallization of your core message into something concrete and memorable.
You can't just throw an arrow at someone's face—you need to "pull back the bow" by adding weight through compelling stories, surprising data points, or emotional anecdotes that give your arrow impact.
The process often involves iteration between bow and arrow. Your supporting material might reveal that your core message needs refinement, or your clearer message might suggest different supporting elements.
This technique works at both macro and micro levels. Use it for your entire presentation, but also for individual slides or sections. Each slide should have its own clear "arrow"—if you can't identify what people should remember from a slide, it probably shouldn't exist or should be broken into multiple slides.
Overcoming the "Bullshitter" Fear
Many people resist speaking skill development because they've encountered confident speakers who lack substance. This creates an "immune response" where any movement toward more confident communication triggers anxiety about becoming inauthentic.
If you're worried about becoming a bullshitter, you're actually the least likely person to become one. That awareness indicates you've developed sensitivity to detecting inauthentic communication—a skill you'll apply to yourself as well.
The goal is matching that confident speaker's communication ability while having stronger ideas to back it up. You want to be able to present your genuine insights in the most compelling possible way.
Trust your internal "bullshit detector" to keep you honest while you develop the skills to communicate more effectively. The voice that warns you about inauthenticity will remain active as you practice—it just needs to get quieter so it doesn't sabotage your development.
Common Questions
Q: How do I practice these skills if I don't have regular speaking opportunities?
A: Use the games and methods described—they create practice opportunities that don't require formal presentations. You can play Conductor with random number generators, practice Triple Step with word association, or run through the Accordion Method with any topic.
Q: What if I freeze up during important presentations despite practice?
A: Focus on "staying in character" rather than trying to be perfect. Most audiences can't tell when you're nervous unless you leak it through self-sabotaging comments. Maintain your confident persona and keep moving forward.
Q: How long does it take to see improvement with these methods?
A: Many people notice differences after a single practice session, though building lasting confidence takes consistent practice over weeks or months. The games provide immediate feedback so you can adjust quickly.
Q: Should I still prepare traditional talking points for important presentations?
A: Use bullet points for your key "bookmarks" or pillars, but avoid scripting exact words. The Accordion Method helps you internalize structure while maintaining flexibility for natural delivery.
Q: What if my job requires very technical presentations where precision matters?
A: These methods still apply—you can be both precise and engaging. Focus on your "bow and arrow" to ensure technical content serves a clear, memorable purpose rather than overwhelming your audience.
Conclusion
Effective public speaking comes from unlearning bad habits and returning to natural communication abilities rather than adding complex techniques or memorizing scripts. The journey requires shifting from conscious control to subconscious flow, using enjoyment as a barometer for authentic delivery, and practicing through deliberate games that target specific skills in low-stakes environments. When you combine tactical improvements like thinking up and ending strong with systematic preparation methods like the Accordion Method and Bow and Arrow Technique, you develop speaking confidence that transforms not just your presentations but your entire professional and personal life.
Practical Implications
• Write "Think Up" on a sticky note and practice looking up while gathering thoughts during conversations
• Record yourself speaking for 60 seconds on any topic and notice where you hedge or leak insecurity
• Try the Conductor game by generating random numbers 1-10 and matching those energy levels while speaking
• Use the Accordion Method for your next presentation: start at 3 minutes, compress to 30 seconds, then expand back up
• Identify the single sentence you want audiences to remember from your next talk, then build supporting material around it
• Practice "staying in character" during low-stakes conversations when you make small mistakes or lose your train of thought
• Set up regular speaking practice with friends or colleagues using games rather than formal presentations
• Focus on what you want audiences to remember rather than everything you want to say when preparing any communication
Standout Insights
"If you're not sure who the decision maker is, one it's probably you and I'd rather you act that way than not because you're gonna slow the whole company down"
— Speaking confidence parallels leadership confidence—taking initiative rather than waiting for perfect clarity drives momentum in all areas of life.
"People cannot see what you feel, even though it feels that way when you feel really really strongly"
— The gap between internal experience and external perception means most speaking anxiety is invisible to audiences unless you explicitly leak it through self-sabotaging comments.
"These are the good old days"
— Tristan's life motto reminds us to appreciate present moments rather than constantly looking ahead, which applies perfectly to speaking—enjoy the process of communication rather than anxiously anticipating future perfect performances.
Start this week by playing one speaking game with a friend or colleague—the immediate feedback will show you that speaking improvement is more accessible and enjoyable than you imagined.
