Why Modern Women Feel More Lost Than Ever: The Mental Health Crisis Behind Female Liberation

Writer Freya India explores how therapy culture has replaced religion for young women, creating a generation that pathologizes normal emotions while struggling with unprecedented levels of anxiety and disconnection.

Key Takeaways

• Therapy culture has replaced religion for young women, providing comfort without demands for behavioral standards or moral growth
• 32% of American teenagers aged 12-17 received mental health treatment in 2023, representing a concerning normalization of pathology
• Young women now ruminate more through social media and therapy language, worsening anxiety rather than providing genuine healing
• Social media creates parasocial relationships that replace real community, family guidance, and authentic human connection
• The commodification of relationships through "soft launching" and constant documentation has destroyed romantic mystery and spontaneity
• Family breakdown means over half of UK children by age 14 don't live with both parents, creating abandonment issues that manifest as attachment disorders
• Modern feminism has eliminated protective male authority while leaving young women vulnerable to exploitation and unable to seek proper guidance

Timeline Overview

• 00:00–15:30 — Therapy Culture as Religion: Analysis of how therapeutic worldview has replaced traditional religious frameworks for meaning-making and moral guidance
• 15:30–30:45 — Mental Health Pathologization: Discussion of how normal emotions and experiences are being medicalized through attachment styles and trauma narratives
• 30:45–45:20 — Social Media and Rumination: Examination of how online platforms reinforce unhealthy thought patterns and replace authentic relationships
• 45:20–60:15 — Dating and Relationship Commodification: Analysis of how social media has transformed romantic relationships into brand collaborations and performance
• 60:15–75:30 — Family Breakdown and Guidance Deficit: Discussion of how absent fathers and broken families create abandonment issues manifesting as anxiety
• 75:30–90:00 — The Paradox of Liberation and Vulnerability: Exploration of how feminist messaging eliminated protection while increasing female vulnerability

Therapy Culture as the New Religion

Therapy culture has systematically replaced religious frameworks for young women, providing all the comfort of faith without any of the inconvenient demands for behavioral change or moral development. This substitution creates what Freya India describes as a "slippery religion" that offers belonging and security while eliminating standards, restrictions, or genuine spiritual growth.

The parallels between therapeutic practices and religious rituals reveal the depth of this substitution. Instead of prayer, young women repeat positive affirmations. Rather than seeking salvation, they embark on "healing journeys." Instead of resisting temptation, they "reframe intrusive thoughts." These practices provide emotional regulation without the accountability structures that traditional religion provided.

The therapeutic worldview encourages women to pathologize ordinary life experiences, transforming normal hurt and disappointment into medical conditions requiring professional intervention. This medicalization of human experience creates dependency on expert interpretation rather than developing personal resilience and wisdom through direct experience and community support.

Unlike traditional religion, therapy culture makes no demands for sacrifice, service, or character development. Young women can receive all the consolation of faith while maintaining complete autonomy over their choices and behaviors. This creates a hollow spirituality that provides temporary comfort without building the moral foundations necessary for genuine flourishing.

• Therapy culture provides religious comfort through healing journeys, positive affirmations, and expert guidance without moral demands
• Normal human emotions become pathologized as medical conditions requiring professional intervention and ongoing treatment
• Therapeutic frameworks eliminate accountability structures that traditional religion provided for character development and community responsibility
• The worldview offers consolation without requiring sacrifice, service, or behavioral change that builds genuine resilience and wisdom

The Medicalization of Normal Female Experience

Modern young women increasingly interpret ordinary emotional experiences through psychiatric categories, losing the ability to distinguish between normal life challenges and genuine mental health conditions. The statistic that 32% of American teenagers received mental health treatment in 2023 represents a concerning normalization of pathology rather than improved mental health care.

The attachment style framework exemplifies this medicalization, where normal relationship dynamics become labeled as disorders requiring ongoing management. Women describe ordinary relationship conflicts through psychiatric language, saying "he cheated on me and I can't get over it because of my anxious attachment" rather than recognizing betrayal as naturally painful and requiring time to heal.

This pathologizing creates a self-fulfilling prophecy where young women identify with their supposed disorders rather than viewing emotional challenges as temporary states requiring action. The shift from "I'm feeling anxious" to "I'm anxiously attached" transforms temporary emotions into permanent identity categories that limit personal agency and growth.

The therapeutic lens blocks constructive self-reflection by providing endless excuses for problematic behaviors. Instead of examining their role in relationship conflicts or personal difficulties, young women can attribute everything to childhood trauma or attachment disorders, preventing genuine character development and problem-solving skills.

• Attachment style categorization transforms normal relationship dynamics into psychiatric conditions requiring ongoing management
• Identity formation becomes centered around mental health labels rather than character traits, interests, or life achievements
• Therapeutic explanations provide endless excuses that prevent genuine self-reflection and personal responsibility
• The medicalization of ordinary emotions creates dependency on professional interpretation rather than developing personal wisdom

Social Media as Rumination Amplifier

Social media platforms function as sophisticated rumination machines that amplify young women's natural tendency toward co-rumination, creating addictive cycles of analysis and anxiety rather than problem-solving and emotional regulation. The algorithm specifically rewards extreme, attention-grabbing content that promotes unhealthy relationship to emotions and other people.

TikTok's "trauma-informed therapists" compete in an attention economy that incentivizes oversimplified, extreme advice designed to generate engagement rather than provide genuine guidance. Content like "five red flags to avoid in men" presents vague criteria that could apply to virtually any relationship, creating paranoia and mistrust rather than healthy discernment.

The platform enables endless analysis of problems without action, allowing young women to scroll through similar experiences and receive validation for rumination rather than encouragement to address challenges directly. This creates a feedback loop where consuming more content feels productive while actually reinforcing unhealthy thought patterns.

Young women develop unrealistic expectations based on the most risk-averse, neurotic voices gaining the most traction online. The algorithm promotes content from women who present themselves as having perfect mental health without any disturbance, creating impossible standards for emotional regulation that leave ordinary women feeling inadequate.

• TikTok therapists compete in attention economy that rewards extreme, oversimplified advice designed for engagement rather than genuine guidance
• Algorithm amplifies most risk-averse, neurotic perspectives as models of healthy behavior and relationship standards
• Platform enables endless rumination without action, making analysis feel productive while reinforcing unhealthy thought patterns
• Vague red flag content creates paranoia and mistrust by presenting criteria that could apply to virtually any relationship

The Commodification of Romance and Relationships

Modern relationships have become brand collaborations where partners function as products in carefully curated social media presentations rather than authentic human connections. The concept of "soft launching" boyfriends reveals how romantic relationships are now viewed through marketing frameworks rather than emotional bonds.

Young women document their lives as if they were professional influencers, thinking constantly about content creation, optimal lighting, and audience engagement even during intimate moments. This performance mindset transforms private experiences into public commodities, destroying the mystery and spontaneity that historically characterized romantic relationships.

The "boyfriends of Instagram" phenomenon illustrates how men become unpaid photographers for their partners' social media presence, spending hours creating content that positions relationships as lifestyle brands rather than emotional partnerships. This dynamic reduces romantic interaction to commercial collaboration.

The normalization of documenting every experience means young women cannot conceive of living without constant validation through social media metrics. Going on holiday without photographic evidence becomes suspicious to peers, revealing how thoroughly social media has colonized private experience and authentic relationship formation.

• Relationships become brand collaborations where partners serve as products in carefully curated social media presentations
• "Soft launching" treats romantic partners like marketing campaigns requiring strategic audience introduction and engagement optimization
• Men serve as unpaid photographers creating content that positions relationships as lifestyle brands rather than emotional bonds
• Constant documentation becomes so normalized that private experiences without social media evidence seem suspicious or invalid

Family Breakdown and the Guidance Vacuum

The collapse of traditional family structures has created unprecedented levels of abandonment anxiety among young women, with over half of UK children by age 14 not living with both parents. This family breakdown eliminates the stable foundation necessary for healthy risk-taking and emotional regulation throughout life.

Without consistent family guidance, young women seek direction from online influencers and social media experts who lack intimate knowledge of their specific circumstances and needs. This creates a situation where strangers provide life advice while the adults who know them best have withdrawn from offering guidance.

The retreat of adult authority stems from cultural suspicion of anything that appears controlling or judgmental. Parents, teachers, and community leaders have been trained to avoid giving direct advice about relationships, behavior, or life choices, leaving young women without the moral framework necessary for navigating complex decisions.

Religious communities that historically provided guidance, mentorship, and moral development have largely disappeared from young women's lives. The combination of family breakdown, community dissolution, and religious decline creates an unprecedented guidance vacuum where young women must navigate complex emotional and social challenges without experienced support.

• Over half of UK children by age 14 don't live with both parents, creating abandonment anxiety that manifests throughout life
• Adults have withdrawn from providing guidance due to cultural suspicion of authority, leaving young women without moral frameworks
• Strangers online replace intimate family and community members as primary sources of life advice and relationship guidance
• Religious communities that provided mentorship and moral development have largely disappeared from young women's experience

The Authority Paradox in Modern Feminism

Modern feminism has created a dangerous paradox by eliminating protective male authority while simultaneously increasing female vulnerability to exploitation and harm. The rejection of traditional chivalry and paternal protection has left young women exposed to predatory behavior without adequate safeguards.

The cultural messaging that women don't need protection because they're "just as strong" as men has prevented fathers from exercising appropriate authority over their daughters' safety and well-being. This ideological position ignores the reality that girls remain physically and emotionally vulnerable during adolescent development.

Young women now demand protection from universities and government institutions because they've eliminated the authority of men they personally trust and who have genuine investment in their welfare. This creates a system where bureaucratic institutions provide safety measures while intimate male relationships become sources of suspicion.

The elimination of male protective instincts has coincided with increased female participation in dangerous activities like online sex work, creating a perfect storm where vulnerability increases while protection decreases. Young women receive cultural messages encouraging risky behavior without the traditional safeguards that would have provided earlier intervention.

• Elimination of protective male authority has increased female vulnerability while removing traditional safeguards against exploitation
• Cultural messaging prevents fathers from exercising appropriate authority over daughters' safety and relationship choices
• Women seek protection from impersonal institutions after eliminating authority of men who personally know and care about them
• Increased participation in risky behaviors coincides with decreased male protective involvement, creating dangerous exposure without intervention

The Economics of Female Exploitation

Young women are increasingly drawn into economic systems that commodify their bodies and sexuality, often without understanding the long-term psychological and social consequences of these choices. The normalization of platforms like OnlyFans through influencer culture presents exploitation as empowerment and financial independence.

Influencers like Tana Mongeau promote sex work to audiences of young teenagers and pre-teens, presenting the designer goods purchased through sexual commodification as evidence of empowerment rather than exploitation. This creates aspirational messaging around activities that historically were understood as degrading and psychologically harmful.

The collapse of traditional economic pathways and the rise of influencer culture as the primary aspiration for young women has created a situation where sexual commodification appears to be the most accessible route to financial success and social status.

The lack of protective male authority means young women make these choices without appropriate guidance about long-term consequences. Fathers who might historically have intervened to protect daughters from exploitation are now culturally prevented from expressing concern about these choices.

• OnlyFans and similar platforms are promoted to teenagers as empowerment and financial independence rather than exploitation
• Influencer culture presents sexual commodification as the most accessible route to success and social status for young women
• Designer goods purchased through sex work are presented as evidence of empowerment rather than markers of exploitation
• Elimination of protective male authority prevents appropriate intervention and guidance about long-term psychological consequences

The Nostalgia for Pre-Digital Intimacy

Young women express unprecedented nostalgia for romantic and social experiences they've never actually lived, longing for a time before smartphones and social media fundamentally altered human connection. This represents a unique historical phenomenon where a generation wishes foundational technologies of their era had never been invented.

The loss of romantic mystery through constant social media surveillance has eliminated the natural development of attraction and emotional intimacy. Young women can no longer wonder about someone's activities or gradually discover their interests because everything is immediately available through digital profiles and stories.

Friendship has been fundamentally redefined through social media metrics, Snapchat streaks, and Instagram poses rather than in-person connection and mutual support. The traditional functions of friendship—guidance, accountability, and emotional support—have been replaced by digital performance and validation seeking.

The speed of technological change has created a situation where older generations cannot provide relevant guidance about navigating relationships in digital environments. This leaves young women without wisdom or strategies for handling completely new forms of social interaction and romantic development.

• Young women express nostalgia for pre-digital romance and friendship despite never experiencing these traditional forms of connection
• Constant social media surveillance eliminates romantic mystery and natural development of attraction and emotional intimacy
• Friendship becomes defined by digital metrics and performance rather than in-person support and genuine emotional connection
• Rapid technological change prevents older generations from providing relevant guidance about digital relationship navigation

Common Questions

Q: How has therapy culture replaced religion for young women?
A: Therapy culture provides religious comfort through healing journeys and expert guidance while eliminating behavioral demands, moral standards, and genuine character development requirements.

Q: Why are attachment styles problematic for young women?
A: Attachment style categorization transforms normal relationship dynamics into permanent identity labels that prevent personal agency and provide endless excuses for problematic behaviors.

Q: How does social media amplify rumination in young women?
A: Platforms like TikTok reward extreme content and enable endless analysis without action, creating feedback loops that reinforce unhealthy thought patterns rather than problem-solving.

Q: What role does family breakdown play in female anxiety?
A: Over half of children don't live with both parents by age 14, creating abandonment issues that manifest as attachment disorders and inability to take healthy risks.

Q: How has feminism created vulnerability while eliminating protection?
A: Modern feminism removed traditional male protective authority while increasing female participation in risky behaviors, leaving women exposed without appropriate safeguards.

Conclusion

Freya India's analysis reveals how the intersection of therapy culture, social media addiction, family breakdown, and misguided feminism has created a generation of young women who are simultaneously more "liberated" than ever while experiencing unprecedented levels of anxiety, depression, and social isolation. The replacement of religion with therapeutic frameworks provides emotional comfort without the character development and community accountability that traditional faith systems offered, leaving women dependent on expert interpretation rather than developing personal wisdom and resilience. Social media platforms amplify natural female tendencies toward rumination and co-dependency, creating addictive cycles of analysis that prevent genuine problem-solving while commodifying intimate relationships into brand collaborations and marketing opportunities.

The collapse of family structures and withdrawal of adult guidance has left young women navigating complex emotional and social challenges without the experienced support systems that previous generations relied upon, while modern feminism's elimination of protective male authority has increased vulnerability to exploitation without providing adequate alternative safeguards. This perfect storm of cultural changes has produced a generation that pathologizes normal human emotions, seeks validation through digital metrics rather than authentic relationships, and views their own bodies as commodities to be marketed rather than integral aspects of their humanity deserving protection and dignity.

Practical Implications

• For Parents: Provide clear guidance and maintain appropriate authority over daughters' safety while resisting cultural pressure to treat teenage girls as fully autonomous adults
• For Young Women: Recognize the difference between temporary emotional states and permanent identity categories, focusing on character development rather than therapeutic explanations
• For Mental Health Professionals: Distinguish between normal life challenges and genuine mental health conditions, avoiding over-pathologizing of typical adolescent emotional experiences
• For Educators: Provide moral frameworks and life guidance rather than retreating into value-neutral approaches that leave students without direction
• For Tech Companies: Consider the psychological impact of algorithmic content promotion on vulnerable populations, particularly young women prone to rumination
• For Religious Communities: Re-engage with young women by offering authentic spiritual frameworks that provide both comfort and character development requirements
• For Policy Makers: Address the regulatory gaps that allow exploitation of minors through social media platforms and age verification failures on adult content sites