The Hidden Origin of Your Desires: How Mimetic Theory Reveals Why We Want What Others Want

René Girard's revolutionary theory of mimetic desire reveals that our deepest wants aren't truly our own—they're copied from others through an unconscious psychological mechanism that drives prestige, competition, and human culture itself.

Discover why "the Latin word for prestige translates to illusion or mirage," how desires flow triangularly through models rather than directly to objects, and why this ancient mechanism might be the psychological root of original sin.

Key Takeaways

• Mimesis is humanity's fundamental capacity to co-vibrate with others like violin strings, copying behaviors, emotions, and desires through unconscious imitation
• Physical desire aims at experience and utility while metaphysical desire aims at identity and being—most prestigious pursuits involve the latter
• All human desires are triangular, flowing from subject through model to object, rather than directly from subject to object as commonly assumed
• We unconsciously pursue three impossible ideals: to be maximally real, persistent through time, and self-sufficient in power over our environment
• Metaphysical desire is malleable, powerful, deceitful, and ungovernable—explaining humanity's greatest achievements and most destructive behaviors
• Prestige represents mimetic validation where surplus value comes not from objects themselves but from others valuing them through social consensus
• The celebrity slogan "Be Like Mike" reveals the true promise of advertising: not utility but access to another person's being and social status
• Metaphysical desire ultimately represents the satanic drive to rival God in metaphysical splendor, making it the psychological root of original sin

Timeline Overview

• 00:00:00–00:03:51 — Introduction: Prestige as illusion and the promise of distinguishing authentic desire from social validation
• 00:03:51–00:08:16 — Mimesis: The violin string metaphor and how humans co-vibrate through unconscious imitation of others
• 00:08:16–00:17:34 — Mimesis and Normativity: How imitation provides certainty about values through recognition, prestige, and the sacred
• 00:17:34–00:29:17 — Mimetic Desire: Distinguishing physical desire (experience) from metaphysical desire (being/identity)
• 00:29:17–00:31:53 — What is Meant by "Being": Self-conception, spirit, and the core of character identity
• 00:31:53–00:34:38 — The First End of Being: Reality: Seeking social existence and recognition rather than mere physical presence
• 00:34:38–00:35:31 — The Second End of Being: Persistence: Wanting identity to last through time via legacy, immortality projects
• 00:35:31–00:41:36 — The Third End of Being: Self-sufficiency: Nietzschean will to power and control over physical and social worlds
• 00:41:36–00:50:14 — Metaphysical Desire: The triangular structure of desire flowing through models rather than directly to objects
• 00:50:14–00:52:09 — The Malleability of Metaphysical Desire: How abstract ideals can manifest through any concrete cultural forms
• 00:52:09–00:53:30 — The Power of Metaphysical Desire: Why identity-based desires override reason and create compulsive behavior
• 00:53:30–00:58:18 — The Deceitfulness of Metaphysical Desire: How objects inevitably disappoint because they cannot fulfill being-based longings
• 00:58:18–01:00:31 — The Ungovernability of Metaphysical Desire: Why reason becomes a lawyer for desires rather than their steward
• 01:00:31–END — Original Sin: How metaphysical desire represents the satanic drive to rival God's metaphysical qualities

The Illusion of Prestige and Authentic Desire

Modern culture leads children down "a path of prestige where they're told to ace their tests no matter how tedious so they can attend an elite university no matter how incompatible in order to work a prestigious job no matter how trivial." Yet this pursuit often pulls us toward fundamentally wrong goals that leave us empty despite external success.

• Prestige as mirage reveals itself through etymology since "the Latin word for prestige translates to illusion or mirage"—a false promise that perpetually recedes as we approach it
• Wrong goal attraction manifests in "dating the right person who is wrong for us living in a fancy neighborhood that's beyond our means befriending influential people who we don't actually like"
• Social validation trap occurs when we mistake others' opinions for authentic personal preferences, creating a cycle of external dependency for self-worth
• Motivational necessity emerges because "prestige sometimes provides the necessary motivational force to achieve our goals but even when doing so often pulls us towards the wrong goals"
• Cultural blindness operates like "the arrow in the FedEx logo that you might have learned about as a kid one second you don't see it the next it's with you for eternity"
• Comprehensive theory promise offers hope through Girard's framework to "distinguish between authentic desire and social validation in order to wean off the drug of prestige"
• Hidden pervasiveness means recognizing mimetic influence helps us see "the extraordinary extent to which society is motivated by prestige"

The fundamental challenge involves learning to differentiate between desires that emerge from genuine experience versus those imposed through social conditioning and comparison.

Mimesis: The Violin String Theory of Human Nature

Girard's foundational insight about human psychology begins with David Hume's observation that humans naturally co-vibrate with each other's emotional and behavioral states, creating an unconscious network of mutual influence.

• Violin string metaphor explains how "as in strings equally wound up the motion of one communicates itself to the rest so all the affections readily pass from one person to another and beget correspondent movements in every human creature"
• Behavioral co-vibration extends beyond emotions to encompass "the broadest possible sense of behavior whether it's experiences judgments actions intentions values"
• Social constitution means "mimesis constitutes us as social beings" by providing "the fundamental capacity to gain access to the subjectivity of others as well as to reproduce objective cultural forms"
• Natural tendency operates automatically since "just as strings next to each other are inclined to co-vibrate so are we ingesting our cultural environment"
• Agency preservation remains possible because "mimesis itself does not rob us of our agency and we have some degree of freedom to choose who and what to imitate whom to extend sympathy to"
• Biological evidence supports the theory through mirror neurons that "fire both when you observe an action as well as when you perform that similar action"
• Infant demonstration shows babies "as young as 40 minutes would naturally mimic the experimenter's facial expressions with surprising accuracy"

The violin string metaphor captures how humans exist in constant unconscious resonance with their social environment while maintaining the capacity for intentional choice about whom to imitate.

Mimesis as Normative Authority: From Recognition to the Sacred

Mimesis serves as humanity's primary method for gaining certainty about normative questions—what is good, beautiful, or valuable—through the validation that comes from shared values with others.

• Normative certainty source provides confidence because "if mimesis is a capacity and tendency to naturally extend into the subjectivity of others internalizing their values then surely having the same value internalized bolsters our confidence"
• Recognition validation creates relief through finding others who share unusual interests, fulfilling the Chinese saying "man would travel a thousand miles to meet he who understands him"
• Prestige mechanism works as "an inflated sense of normative certainty based on the opinions of others" where social groups collectively create surplus value through shared belief
• Sacred formation occurs when "the sacred object has an infinite amount of value compared to its intrinsic value" solely through "unanimous belief in their infinite value and power"
• Divine creation through unanimity means "even the fundamental building blocks of gods are created by unanimity bolstered through mimesis"
• Fiat currency analogy shows how "human values then for Gerard if you allow me the analogy to currencies are less like you know traded cattle that has intrinsic value and more like fiat currencies holding value mostly because others believe that they hold value as well"
• Dead religion clarity becomes obvious with "religions that no one believes anymore everyone today would agree that for the Egyptian gods or think about raw not only was their normative status bolstered but their very existence is propped up by unanimity"

The progression from recognition to prestige to the sacred represents increasing degrees of mimetic intensity, all deriving their power from collective human validation rather than intrinsic properties.

Physical vs. Metaphysical Desire: Experience vs. Identity

Girard's crucial distinction separates desires aimed at experiencing objects from desires aimed at enhancing one's being or identity through object acquisition.

• Physical desire definition targets "the experience confirmed by the qualities of the object" focusing on utility, pleasure, and direct satisfaction from the object itself
• Metaphysical desire definition pursuits "what objects say about me" rather than what they do for me, making identity enhancement the primary goal
• Sexual example illustrates the difference: "i can pursue sex for the experience and what i would be after there will be pleasure or intimacy i can also pursue sex for being what having sex with a certain person says about me"
• Don Juan psychology represents pure metaphysical desire where "sex is no longer about sex but trying to prove something core to their identity it's about being and not experience"
• Car purchase distinction shows how "i can buy a car for the experience and that would be its gasps mileage or the trouble it saves me from not walking anywhere or i can buy a car because i want to be known as a certain type of person"
• Utility versus identity provides a "reductive but hopefully illuminating way to put it is that physical desire aims at utility whereas metaphysical desire aims at identity"
• Competing motivations exist within most desires since we "probably buy cars both concerned with what it says about us as well as its gas mileage and trunk size"

Girard systematically favors physical desire while viewing metaphysical desire as inherently "perverse" because it treats objects as means to identity enhancement rather than ends in themselves.

The Three Ends of Being: Reality, Persistence, and Self-Sufficiency

Metaphysical desire ultimately pursues three abstract but universal human ideals that collectively aim at existing "in great measure" through enhanced social reality, temporal persistence, and environmental control.

• Social reality pursuit seeks existence beyond mere physical presence, captured in phrases like "pics or it didn't happen" where "what really matters what has real significance is not the physical act of going to Hawaii but the social act of being recognized as having gone to Hawaii"
• Instagram eternalization demonstrates how photography "eternalizes an instant that you are able to take one moment of your life and capture advertise and derive value from it through time and thereby increasing its importance in its reality"
• Persistence drive manifests universally through "progeny whether it's through books companies nations a park bench with your name on it the Chinese emperors and the perennial fascination with immortality"
• Immortality projects represent attempts to "have one's identity last in the cultural zeitgeist" through various forms of legacy creation
• Self-sufficiency expansion extends beyond physical needs to social needs, exemplified by "a coquette a seductive woman who plays her suitors on a leash to satisfy her desires and egoistic impulses"
• Nietzschean will to power describes the drive "to exert influence on the world according to one's own self-conception to mold and shape the lived world around us to be hospitable to our ends and desires"
• Domination manifestation appears as "being the sole locus that determines one's lived world" whether through conquest, intellectual influence, or even ascetic renunciation

These three drives combine into the universal human desire "to exist in great measure" through glory, immortality, and power rather than mere biological survival.

The Triangular Structure of Desire: Subject, Model, Object

Girard's revolutionary insight reveals that human desires don't flow directly from subjects to objects but triangularly through mediating models who appear to possess the being we seek.

• Triangular revelation shows "whereas we think of desire as unidirectional from subject to objects it is actually triangular proceeding from subject through model and then to object"
• Model-based acquisition occurs because "we want to acquire objects to bolster our identity and the way we go about choosing objects is imitating individuals whom we consider to already possess this fullness of being"
• Celebrity influence operates through figures like "celebrities parental figures entrepreneurs an outstanding co-worker we take on their desires as our own the objects they value as the objects we too strive for"
• Faulty logic assumption believes "it must be the acquisition of these objects that grant them the fullness in being"
• Be Like Mike revelation exemplifies this through Michael Jordan's slogan which "doesn't promise you the most important thing about basketball shoes whether it's the lightness or the fit or the bounce or the grip it's promising you something you want so much more be like mike"
• Relic proximity principle explains why "the object is to the mediator what the relic is to a saint" where value depends on "closeness to the saint" rather than arbitrary association
• Romantic mediation appears even in intimate relationships, as shown in Dostoyevsky's "eternal husband" who brings his wife to a Don Juan "in hopes that he would seduce her and by doing so validate the protagonist's own decision of marrying his new wife"

The triangular structure explains why desire strength often correlates more with our relationship to models than with objective qualities of desired objects.

The Four Qualities of Metaphysical Desire

Metaphysical desire dominates human psychology through four characteristics that make it both the engine of cultural achievement and the source of perpetual dissatisfaction.

• Malleability emerges from abstract ideals that "can take form in a kaleidoscope of ways" depending on available models—"if i grew up with a don Juan as a father perhaps my desire takes the form as a desire for sexual conquest if i spent my childhood with philosophers perhaps my desire manifests as desire to write treaties"
• Cultural puzzle explanation helps understand seemingly irrational behaviors like "early Christian aesthetics with self-imposed celibacy castration and mutilations" or "aristocrats who refuse certain tactics in war that would grant them certain victory because these taxes are ignoble"
• Exceptional power manifests because "so much is on the line we aren't after just a momentary experience but what an object says about us that will echo through time our spirit our being our self-conception is at stake"
• Compulsive identification appears in "fervorous religious rituals of pagan societies the rush to buy buds on the heights of the tulip mania or the rush to buy internet companies in the dot-com bubble"
• Systematic deceitfulness occurs because "what metaphysical desire aims at an object and what it really wants being aren't even the same type of thing"
• Inevitable disappointment results since "if the objects don't matter then clearly the objects will not be able to satisfy our deepest desires"
• Ungovernable nature stems from how "the goal of metaphysical desire however is abstract and elusive furthermore this pursuit of the being of the model is always hidden from the subject disguised as a passion for the object"

These four qualities explain why metaphysical desire creates both humanity's greatest achievements and its most destructive compulsions.

The Mirage of Object Acquisition

Metaphysical desire operates like a mirage that perpetually promises fulfillment through the next acquisition while systematically disappointing through each achieved goal.

• Mirage metaphor describes how metaphysical desire "is compared to a mirage with a seductive promise the place you were just at well that's not it that's not it don't worry but just a few more steps and i will give you that which will replenish your entire being and quell your thirst once and for all"
• Golf club cycle exemplifies the pattern: "i wanted new putters the same one that Phil Mickelson had and it was gonna make me feel like Phil Nicholson was the odyssey number nine putter and i remember being so excited for this thing to arrive as if it was just gonna take care of my golf game forever and i got it i was super excited three days later didn't mean much to me anymore"
• Rational ineffectiveness persists despite understanding because "even if you rationally know that getting this new set of drivers or whatever set of objects you're desiring now it will not fundamentally transform your being you still can't but help desiring that next set of objects"
• Ivy League progression shows the typical pattern: "getting into an ivy league is fine and all but you know what will really make me happy 10 million dollars or getting a car that car i was just so excited about three days ago that's nothing you know what would really make me happy that house"
• Directional shifts occur when material success leads to "maybe a total 180 making money having a house having nice cars that's all necessary but what will really give me lasting satisfaction is being a world renowned actor"
• Malleability exploitation means "because of how malleable metaphysical desire is people don't renounce desire itself and simply direct it towards the next set of objects that have maintained their lure"
• Wild goose hunt becomes the human condition where we "go on one wild goose hunt after the other" without recognizing the systemic pattern

The mirage quality ensures that metaphysical desire can never be satisfied through object acquisition, only temporarily redirected toward new targets.

The Ungovernable Nature of Desire

Unlike physical desires that reason can examine and potentially redirect, metaphysical desire operates beyond rational control through its abstract nature and hidden triangular structure.

• Reason's limitation occurs because "if i desire something physically there's something concrete that i can point to reason can examine it it can weigh its trade-offs and potentially tame or redirect it but the goal of metaphysical desire however is abstract and elusive"
• Hidden mechanism prevents rational intervention since "this pursuit of the being of the model is always hidden from the subject disguised as a passion for the object reason does not even know where to begin"
• Strength override means "even if we had rational understanding of our predicament the ungovernability also stems from the strength metaphysical desire tends to have such strength as to override the dictates of reason"
• Platonic reversal shows how "the platonic ideal of the reasoning part of the soul holding the reins of the spirited part of the soul gerard thinks is an illusion the spirited part of the soul when it is inflamed is the strongest part and commands reason"
• Reason as spokesperson reduces rational faculty to merely becoming "a spokesperson for the spirited side of us while pretending to be its steward"
• Why creation follows Nietzsche's insight that "he who has a why can bear with almost any how" but adds "he who needs a how can make up almost any why in so far as through mediation you need to obtain some object the how the reasoning part of your soul becomes this lawyer who comes up with reasons the why"
• Post-hoc rationalization dominates human psychology where rational explanations serve desired conclusions rather than directing behavior

This ungovernable quality makes metaphysical desire particularly dangerous because it operates below the threshold of conscious awareness while commanding tremendous motivational power.

Original Sin and the Satanic Drive

Girard's most profound insight connects metaphysical desire to the Christian doctrine of original sin by revealing how the desire for enhanced being ultimately represents an attempt to rival God's metaphysical qualities.

• Pride connection builds on Augustine's teaching that "pride is the root of all sin because it closes us off from god" while metaphysical desire "reveals above all one's pridefulness it shows a fundamental hubris of thinking that we can possess such a heightened degree of being"
• Divine qualities pursuit shows how the three ends of being mirror God's attributes: "we desire to be the most real well what could be more real than god we desire to persist through time to be eternal well that's even easier god is the alpha and the omega we desire to be self-sufficient to have power over ourselves in all existence well what is that if not describing god's omnipotence"
• Metaphysical ambition reveals that "the desire to be turns out to be the desire to be the most real the all-lasting the all-powerful what we are really after are really core metaphysical concepts ontology reality temporality persistence and causality power"
• Divine rivalry emerges because "metaphysical desire upon examination under Christian spectacles reveals itself to be a desire to be the capital g god"
• Satanic parallel becomes obvious since "there is another entity in Christian cosmology who is defined by their desire to be god and that is the fallen angel Satan who dared to rebel against god"
• Genesis mimesis explains the fall through Satan as model: "Satan here is the model Adam and eve the subject and god the object through our imitation of Satan we too acquired the satanic drive to be like god"
• Shame emergence follows naturally since we "only feel shame when we compare our petty human existence to the glory of god which we now all yearn for"
• Universal inheritance means "just as no Christian asks do i sin but only how do Gerard thinks we are always if only subtly plagued by this rebellious tormenting impulse"

The serpent's promise "shall be as gods" represents the archetypal moment when humanity acquired the metaphysical desire that constitutes our fallen condition.

Common Questions

Q: How can we distinguish between authentic and mimetic desires?
A: Look for desires grounded in direct experience versus those aimed at identity enhancement. Physical desires focus on utility and genuine satisfaction, while metaphysical desires center on what acquisition says about you.

Q: Is all human desire really mimetic or are some desires truly our own?
A: Girard argues that as humans we are "interpenetrated by mediators even when we do not realize it" so virtually all desires contain mimetic elements, though they exist on a spectrum of mimetic intensity.

Q: Why is metaphysical desire considered more problematic than physical desire?
A: Because metaphysical desire aims at impossible ideals (infinite reality, persistence, self-sufficiency) and remains perpetually unsatisfiable, leading to compulsive behavior and systematic disappointment.

Q: How does the triangular structure of desire work in practice?
A: Instead of wanting objects directly, we unconsciously copy the desires of models who appear to possess the "fullness of being" we seek, mistakenly believing their objects are the source of their perceived completeness.

Q: Can reason control metaphysical desire once we understand it?
A: Generally no, because metaphysical desire operates below conscious awareness and tends to be strong enough to override rational analysis, turning reason into a "lawyer" that justifies pre-existing desires.

Conclusion

The most important insight from Girard's theory is recognizing how much of what we consider personal preference actually originates from unconscious imitation of others. This awareness allows us to cultivate more authentic desires grounded in direct experience rather than social comparison.

Understanding the triangular structure of desire—subject through model to object—provides a powerful lens for examining our motivations and distinguishing between pursuing objects for their own sake versus pursuing them for identity enhancement. The goal isn't eliminating all mimetic influence but developing greater consciousness about when we're being driven by the impossible quest to "exist in great measure" versus genuine appreciation for experiences themselves.

Remember Girard's warning: "the latin word for prestige translates to illusion or mirage"—a reminder that much of what motivates us may be perpetually receding false promises rather than achievable satisfaction.